I spent all last year chasing self improvement and signifigance after I got what I thought was my dream job, hated it, and realized I had to start over. Started reading a lot of philosophy. Then a few weeks ago I broke through and realized this is all a big game and stopped worrying. I feel more sane now than I ever did before.
“I don’t mean that you must literally go insane, though some people do (I nearly did)”
Enjoyed this whole piece, and find myself most curious about what’s in the parentheses!
In my own most lucid, clear experiences of reality, it was the people closest to me who were vocally concerned for my sanity. Such a painful irony. But you are also very correct — it can be quite a fine line.
There’s a lot in those parentheses! Maybe I’ll tell that story someday. It sounds like you’ve got your own stories to tell, too. I’m glad neither of us went insane. We didn’t . . . right?
For Robert Frost "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...". For me it was dozens, making the odds on finding 'the road less travelled' severely disagreeable. But over the years I have revisited that wooded junction, and found the choice/number of road-options gradually diminish. One day I hope to go there and find the junction is no more, and the road just carries on -- at which point I won't care if it is sometimes rocky, steep or windy -- I'll just be glad that there are no more junctions, and with just one road, all I have to do is follow it.
(I wrote a poem roughly along these lines; about time I published it properly on Substack)
This is what happens when someone drops their ego, picks up a flashlight, and finds a mirror instead of a map.
Success. Significance. Sanity.
A tidy little trilogy. Very Joseph Campbell meets Ram Dass on a juice cleanse.
But yes—“spiritual materialism” is the artisanal trap of our age. Now enlightenment comes in microdoses and Instagram quotes, with just enough incense to keep the ego feeling holy. We chant “I am enough” while shopping for new affirmations.
The Truth? You are what’s left when the costumes fall off.
And the trick isn't finding your Self, it’s realizing you were never the imposter you feared. Just badly cast in capitalism's drama.
Sanity is radical honesty. It's the holy boredom after all the stories die.
It’s laughing in the temple ruins, barefoot and free, realizing the altar was your own breath the whole damn time.
I must of missed this🥹 I have been ill with the Flu and broke my toes and just had my mom in the ER yesterday, for the 2nd time for the Flu & a fall. Things -the energy is crazy 🤪 🙇🏻♀️
I have not been able to get on here, due to everything going on. I hope there’s a replay. Much needed. I’m usually notified in my emails. Humm. Excellent read right here☺️. I am not any Huge business woman, DT trauma. I Am a nurse, left when I had children and life happened. I’ve been trying to heal these wounds, fears, for 3 plus years. I believe feeling enough, or feeling your not just chasing another path, person, identity, is truly all about Safety within one. Maybe wrong ?!🤔
Happens still occasionally, but is far too brief. I seem to remember there were times it was more normal. Recognisable and is better if others join you.
I spent all last year chasing self improvement and signifigance after I got what I thought was my dream job, hated it, and realized I had to start over. Started reading a lot of philosophy. Then a few weeks ago I broke through and realized this is all a big game and stopped worrying. I feel more sane now than I ever did before.
Sanity feels nice, doesn't it? I’m so glad you found your way through the fog, Andy.
“I don’t mean that you must literally go insane, though some people do (I nearly did)”
Enjoyed this whole piece, and find myself most curious about what’s in the parentheses!
In my own most lucid, clear experiences of reality, it was the people closest to me who were vocally concerned for my sanity. Such a painful irony. But you are also very correct — it can be quite a fine line.
There’s a lot in those parentheses! Maybe I’ll tell that story someday. It sounds like you’ve got your own stories to tell, too. I’m glad neither of us went insane. We didn’t . . . right?
Not that I’m aware of 😊
Whew.
For Robert Frost "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...". For me it was dozens, making the odds on finding 'the road less travelled' severely disagreeable. But over the years I have revisited that wooded junction, and found the choice/number of road-options gradually diminish. One day I hope to go there and find the junction is no more, and the road just carries on -- at which point I won't care if it is sometimes rocky, steep or windy -- I'll just be glad that there are no more junctions, and with just one road, all I have to do is follow it.
(I wrote a poem roughly along these lines; about time I published it properly on Substack)
Good idea.
Kevin,
This is what happens when someone drops their ego, picks up a flashlight, and finds a mirror instead of a map.
Success. Significance. Sanity.
A tidy little trilogy. Very Joseph Campbell meets Ram Dass on a juice cleanse.
But yes—“spiritual materialism” is the artisanal trap of our age. Now enlightenment comes in microdoses and Instagram quotes, with just enough incense to keep the ego feeling holy. We chant “I am enough” while shopping for new affirmations.
The Truth? You are what’s left when the costumes fall off.
And the trick isn't finding your Self, it’s realizing you were never the imposter you feared. Just badly cast in capitalism's drama.
Sanity is radical honesty. It's the holy boredom after all the stories die.
It’s laughing in the temple ruins, barefoot and free, realizing the altar was your own breath the whole damn time.
Following True North,
Virgin Monk Boy™
I must of missed this🥹 I have been ill with the Flu and broke my toes and just had my mom in the ER yesterday, for the 2nd time for the Flu & a fall. Things -the energy is crazy 🤪 🙇🏻♀️
I have not been able to get on here, due to everything going on. I hope there’s a replay. Much needed. I’m usually notified in my emails. Humm. Excellent read right here☺️. I am not any Huge business woman, DT trauma. I Am a nurse, left when I had children and life happened. I’ve been trying to heal these wounds, fears, for 3 plus years. I believe feeling enough, or feeling your not just chasing another path, person, identity, is truly all about Safety within one. Maybe wrong ?!🤔
I subscribed but don't see the livestream happening now : (
This right here is why I’m a subscriber. Thank you!
Really, really enjoyed this one, great read
"One of the ironic things about spiritual awakening is that the ideas and revelations that lead you to it must eventually be dropped, too."
Such a juicy paradox. This was an awesome read Kevin. Illuminating and a beautiful reminder.
Happens still occasionally, but is far too brief. I seem to remember there were times it was more normal. Recognisable and is better if others join you.